Worst Resume Mistakes!

• Why interested in position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail.”

• Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”

• “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”

• “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”

• “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”

• “Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”

• “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”

• “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”

• “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”

• Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”

• Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”

• Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”

• References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”

• Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”

• Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”

• Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”

• Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”

• “Marital status: often. Children: various.”

• “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”