- Client Service
Worst Resume Mistakes!

Why interested in position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail.”
Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
“Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
“Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
“Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
“Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
“Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”
Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”
Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”
Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
“Marital status: often. Children: various.”
“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”